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"I never had a big coming out to everyone I knew"


I never had a big coming out to everyone I knew. I justified it wasn’t necessary when there’s a lot of bisexual people my age and I wasn’t anything special. The truth was I hated the questions and couldn’t explain why.


I told a few close friends I was bi at 16. They asked me if I was more attracted to one gender or the other, with good intentions, but it made me uncomfortable because I didn’t know how to answer.

That kind of question makes you think you'd be seen more as one or the other when you're neither. It subconsciously makes you afraid of people writing you off as either straight or gay. I was 18 and old enough to put in my ballot for the “Yes” Vote in Australia. It hurt me knowing there were family and friends who openly voted “No” or didn’t care either way.


My mother was included in that, which is why I came out to her closer towards the voting due date. I told her I didn’t want to live in a world where me or anyone else couldn’t have the right to marry the person they love. I’m still not out to older family and friends because my mother asked why I’ve never dated girls. I decided that since I’m a cis woman who has only been with men, I could hide as straight-passing and avoid more questions about my sexuality. Even if it makes me uncomfortable, I’ve realised I can’t keep hiding. Bisexual Visibility means educating people so there aren’t scared kids like I used to be.

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